Going to bed at 9:30 on New Years Eve, that’s my way of partying like a rock star. See you in 2012, stupid Mayans!

Finally beat Bioshock, now I can move on to the nine billion other games I-want-to-but-don’t-have-time-to-play

You know you need to lose weight when your stomach fat gets caught in a cash register #truestory #commonproblem

I just drove through a cloud of dead-terrarium smell #thatwasgross #andnostalgic

When did they start showing calming footage of lighthouses before take-off? #seriouslypreparedtoflynow

Happy Jew Year! #roshhashanah

I can’t believe that Rahm Emanuel can’t control the weather yet! Does anyone keep campaign promises anymore? #notvotingnexttime

Epic Fail Bologna Sandwiches: Putting bologna in your face since 1972 #tmbg #victheater

Is anyone good enough friends with Peter Dinklage that he let’s them call him Dink Dink? #seriousquestion #spaceballsisawesome

Sometimes love is coughing directly into someone’s mouth. #truestory